A Typical Tuesday: Lobo
by Captain Ash
Summary: What IS a typical Tuesday for the greatest bounty hunter in the universe? A nice relaxing cup of tea and a good book? YEAH RIGHT! It's blood and mayhem for the Main Mutt as he reeks havoc across Equestria!


My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all related characters belong to Hasbro. Lobo and all related characters belong to DC Comics.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: The following story is not cannon with the My Little Pony-DC Universe as created by Captain Ash/He Who See's. This is merely a story to confirm Lobo WILL be in the MLP-DC Universe**

* * *

The dark lord Tirek was sitting on his thrown, ready to launch his attack on Equestria.

"Yes, the time has come. Soon those pathetic little ponies shall be no more." The demonic being said to himself as he was about to call for his dark hoard. Suddenly, the doors to his throne room exploded open. Through the fire walked what looks to be a very wolf-like Diamond Dog with pure white fur, red eyes, and long black hair with black markings on his muzzle, wearing a black leather jacket with one sleeve missing and a chain wrapped around one front leg with a hook attached to it.

"Alright ya fraggin' bastich! I've come to smoke cigars and frag everything in sight and not necessarily in that order." The wolf said as Tirek glared at the being with pure hatred.

"Who do you think you are?! I am the Dark Lord Tirek you foolish mongrel!" The Dark Lord shouted as the wolf just puffed on a cigar.

"Th' name's Lobo. That's L as in Lacerate, O as in Obliterate, B as in disemBowel, and O as in... huh, well I guess I can use Obliterate twice." Lobo said then reached into his jacket and pulled out a ridiculously large gun.

"How did that fit in there?" Tirek asked as he scratched his head.

"Sorry, I don't talk to dead guys." Lobo said as he pulled the trigger and a flurry of bullets shredded Tirek to pieces, the wolf not stopping until all of his ammunition had run out and by that time Tirek was nothing more than a bloody stain on the floor.

"Well that's that." Lobo said as he put his oversized gun back into his jacket, it seemingly disappearing. Suddenly the throne room was filled with the sounds of otherworldly roars. Lobo looked over at a large door as hoards of demonic creatures flooded the room, towering over him and ready to avenge their fallen master. The white wolf just smirked as he whistled and the roar of an engine could be heard from outside the palace.

With a thunderous crash a very large flying motorcycle crashed through the ceiling. Lobo hopped up on the motorcycle and smiled wickedly as he pushed a button on it and many large guns, missiles, and rockets sprung up all over the bike.

"Scuzbuckets meet the SpazFrag666. SpazFrag666 meet roadkill." The wolf said as he then pushed another button on the craft.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE THIS JOB!" Lobo laughed out in wicked glee as he fired his weapons at the monsters before him, slaughtering them as he did their master.

* * *

Lobo flew his motorcycle over the wastelands of Equis. He entered what looked like a giant insect hive and hopped off his bike.

"HEY! BUG BASTICH! THAT TIRE GUY'S FRAGGED!" Lobo bellowed enter the hive as many large black insect-like creatures buzzed and crawled over the sticky green walls of the hive. After a moment a large black insectoid creature came from a dark shadowy crevice. It was different than the others as it was taller and somewhat lanky.

"Hmm, it seems like you're as good as they say Lobo." The large creature said, almost in a seductive tone.

"Fraggin' right, now gimme my pay." The wolf said, somewhat uncomfortable with the look his employer was giving him.

"Oh, you'll get your pay. I just have one more job for you to do and trust me when I tell you, it'll be worth you're while." The Queen of the hive whispered into Lobo's ear.

"If it's all the same to ya, I'll take my pay now." The wolf said as he gave the Queen a disgusted look.

"Oh, but this job is right up your alley. Guaranteed blood, guts, and mayhem." The Queen of the hive said as she walked in circles around Lobo.

"Now you're speakin' my language! Whats the job?" Lobo said, eager to begin a new rampage.

"Oh, just take out some protesters at the beach. Something about saving dolphins or some such nonsense." The Queen said. Lobo's eager face then turned serious.

"Dolphins?" The wolf asked in a dark voice.

"Yes, such useless creatures. Why anybody would _want_ to save them is anyone's guess." The Queen said as she began to head back into her crevice.

"I killed every living thing on Czarnia fer fun. I killed Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny an' things that don't even exist, but frag me fer a bastich, even I got limits! Dolphins are the one thing in the whole fraggin' universe that the Main Mutt ain't ever gonna kill! So you can go frag yerself ya insectoid scuzbucket!"

Lobo ranted as he then began to swing the hooked chain around his arm. The Queen gave a nod to her servants that instructed them to attack. Lobo skewered one of them with his hook before grabbing one that was running up behind him. He lifted it up and squashed its head in his paw, green blood splattering everywhere. Lobo reached into his jacket and pulled out what looked to be a very high-tech shotgun.

"ALRIGHT YA FRAGGERS, LEMME HEAR YA SCREAM!" The wolf yelled as he began shooting up the hive. The warriors of the hive impaled Lobo with their horns, but he shrugged them off, his wounds healing in mere seconds. They blasted him with their magic, but this just made the wolf angrier. Lobo quickly pulled out a grenade and chucked at a wall, the explosive sticking to the gooey surface. After five seconds, the tiny bomb let loose a massive explosion.

* * *

The Queen lounged in her chambers. At least she did until the doors to her chambers were blown open.

"Hey there Bug Bastich." Lobo said as he strolled through the fire casually. The Queen ordered here remaining guards to attack, but they were gutted and ripped limb from limb by the white wolf leaving him covered in their green blood.

"You think you can challenge me?! Queen Chrysalis?! Supreme overlord of the Changlings?!" The Queen bellowed as she blasted Lobo with her magic. Lobo simply kept walking as if she was doing nothing at all. He walked right up to her, grabbed her horn and then broke it off.

"AAAAAH!" Chrysalis screamed in agony as she fell over.

"Why?" The Queen of the Changlings asked as Lobo stood over her.

"Ya ticked me off that's why ya stupid bug." The wolf said nonchalantly as he lit up a cigar with a blow torch that came out of nowhere.

"Now it's time for ya to learn what I love to do with bugs." Lobo said as he chuckled darkly, walking over to Chrysalis' large throne and lifting it up with one arm.

"SQUASH 'EM!" The wolf yelled as he slammed the throne down on the Changling Queen, leaving a pool of green blood on the floor. Lobo whistled for his bike as he reached into his jacket and pulled out a large bomb, sitting it right on the throne he used to kill Chrysalis.

"Time to blow this popstand!" Lobo said as he revved the engine of his bike and flew like a bat out of Tartarus. As he rocketed out of the atmosphere the explosion of the hive below could be seen from space as Lobo hit a button on his bike and two large speakers popped out on either side of his head. Soon heavy metal started playing as he sang along with the song.

"LET ME HEAR YOU SCREAM!"


End file.
